Its my birthday in 20 days. I hate my birthday. I find it incredibly depressing. I don’t like anyone making a fuss over me, and I hate being the centre of attention, and birthdays will always ensure that you are made a fuss of all day, and I get very embarrassed by it all.
I have drinks on tonight in the city and I was racking my brain for what I can wear, and I remembered a dress that I bought almost a year ago that I have only worn once. I wore it to my birthday dinner in LA last year at Lisa Vanderpumps restaurant “Sur” in West Hollywood. My 33rd birthday last year was the best and most memorable birthday I have ever had.
Those of you that know me, know that I have been following Kelly Cutrone’s career since the beginning. She is a remarkable woman. She is strong, and unapologetic, and incredibly switched on. I admire her “I don’t give a fuck” attitude, and she is one of the best business women out there in my opinion.
When I read her books (“If You Have To Cry, Go Outside”, and “Normal Gets You Nowhere”) in May 2011, I bought them with the intention of getting some business advice. What was in the books however completely blew my mind, and was not what I was expecting at all, and everything she stood for was everything I had always thought but was too afraid to speak about. The moment I started to read her first book I was immediately taken.
“This book isn’t a book about how to be a smart businesswoman, because I’m not a smart businesswoman. Frankly, I’m not even that smart. What I am is fearless and intuitive. I’m attuned to the sound of my inner voice, and I’ve been following it blindly for most of my life, without any clear goals”.
I too am not what you would call “smart”. I left school at 15, and have learned everything I know from having had the opportunity to have worked with some brilliant people from the age of 13 who have kicked my ass, and helped me discover who it is that I am. I don’t think any amount of studying can help you with that, and I am grateful to the people that have been a part of my life and have had the honour of being able to surround myself with. I also don’t think any amount of study can prepare you for what it is that life throws at you, and all of the most important life skills that we acquire, generally come down to life experience rather than a piece of paper awarded by some university. Another thing that I think is so important is having a sense of humility. We are no better than the next person, and this is an important lesson to remember. We are not our looks, or our bank balances. And I for one refuse to be defined by any of those illusions.
So back to Kelly Cutrone. When I first began reading her books, I was overcome with a strange feeling. I felt an instant connection with this woman. I called out to my husband “This woman is a fucking legend! You don’t seem to understand! I’m going to meet her one day! I can feel it in my waters!”. Of course he ignored me. I’m a little eccentric at the best of times, and he just assumed that I was being my usual crazy self.
Within 6 months of having read her books, she ran a competition on Facebook to win a signed copy of her books, and funnily enough, I won. We have the same spiritual guru (Todd Savvas – another long story that I won’t go into this time), and when I told him about it, he told Kelly, and she responded that I’m “her favourite fan”. I was speechless.
Six months later, I was in LA visiting some friends and spending my birthday there. My sister in law had tweeted me wishing me a Happy Birthday and saying that she hoped I ran into Kelly Cutrone whilst I was there. Kelly resides in New York, so it was hardly a possibility anyway. I was in H&M buying underwear at the time, and I get a tweet come through from Kelly herself, saying “Where are you – come meet me for your birthday. You are a true sister fan”. Holy shitballs. Is this actually happening? I immediately put down all of the lingerie in my hands and went back to my hotel to contact her. She had invited me to meet with her at her hotel the next day (which happened to be my birthday) for a drink. I don’t think I have ever been so astonished by anything in my life, nor had I been so nervous about anything either.
When I met with her, I wasn’t too sure what to expect. She came over and gave me a big hug. I almost burst into tears. It was a very surreal experience to be lucky enough to be able to meet your idol. Not everybody gets that type of opportunity. In my line of work, we get to meet with lots of celebrities – but this wasn’t like that at all. I was blown away by her. She was very warm, and incredibly friendly and talkative, and the best part of all, was she was so genuine. She’s actually quite attractive in real life too. She has long shiny black hair, and very little wrinkles on her face. She laughs a lot, and has a very motherly sense about her. Having said that, she is also very “no nonsense” and I would definitely never want to fuck with her. She is a force to be reckoned with that’s for sure. Traits that I would hope to develop myself someday. I have the utmost respect for everything that she has accomplished throughout her life and career.
So the moral of this story? Like the old saying goes, “you can’t hit your target with your eyes closed”, and if you send something out there into the universe, and you want it that bad, somehow, someway, the power of manifestation reigns supreme. God resides in you, as you, and having had this experience, I can confirm that this is the only truth. Work out what it is you want out of life, and the world is quite literally your oyster.