I Have Fans…

I would make the worst celebrity ever. I spend 90% of the time dressed like a homeless person, or in sweaty gym clothes, and rarely wear makeup through the week. Actually I think I only wear makeup on Saturdays or special occasions. I also never do my hair. You will often see me out and about in hats as a result of my lack of grooming in the hair department. And in the summer time, I almost let it get to the dread-lock stage as I generally swim most days and don’t see any point in washing it.

When I do venture out, I must say I really enjoy dressing up as its kind of a novelty, and I actually have so many clothes I could literally never repeat an outfit again if I really wanted. However if I were a celebrity I would be no doubt photographed exiting vehicles ungracefully and clumsily, as I am a bit of a klutz and am near paralytic off one glass of wine.

So, back to the blog title – I have fans.

Sometimes I think that nobody reads my blogs, however lately as I have been a little less reclusive than usual, I have discovered that I have a decent following.

It’s always nice to hear feedback on what it is that I am writing, even if what I do write in my opinion borders on the mundane at times. However I am a good talker, and an even better story teller and I generally always manage to find some sort of humor in an otherwise humorless situation.

The one comment that I do like is that I have made someone laugh.

The shit that happens to me at times is laughable in hindsight (although at the time, I feel as though my very world is crumbling around me) and I seem to be forever afflicted with first world problems – but aren’t we all?

Like now. I’m sitting in my office writing this.

Ordinarily I write from my dining room, and sometimes I write from my phone in bed and email it to myself. Insomnia will do that to you. Keep your mind constantly ticking over. Lately I’ve been considering sedating myself to try to remedy this. Regarthedless of that, I find I write better from my dining room. I don’t know why. But I cannot write from there for the moment as I have the entire contents of my kitchen cupboards spread throughout the entire dining room as I think I’m some sort of home renovation expert right now, which pains me terribly as those of you who know me personally, know that I am a little like the husband from “Sleeping With The Enemy” – where everything has to live in its place, and be immaculately clean at all times. Yes, I have OCD. But it has its positives – my home is ridiculously clean. You could literally eat out of my toilet bowls.

So anyway, I’m sitting here in my office, and I have a statue of Ganesh next to me. Ganesh is the remover of obstacles. And he is EVERYWHERE I go. Literally everywhere. I see him all over the world in places one might not expect. I even found him behind a bar in Mexico, which is quite bizarre as I don’t imagine there are any Hindus there. Oh, and I take pictures of him wherever I see him as I can’t help but see it as an omen whenever he appears. What that omen means though I have no idea. If you follow me on Instagram you can see a bunch of them there.

I am not Hindu. I am not anything. But I like what Ganesh represents. Not only is he the remover of obstacles, his appearance is symbolic of how we should all live our own lives:

“Ganesha’s head symbolizes the Atman or the soul, which is the ultimate supreme reality of human existence, and his human body signifies Maya or the earthly existence of human beings. The elephant head denotes wisdom and its trunk represents Om, the sound symbol of cosmic reality. In his upper right hand Ganesha holds a goad, which helps him propel mankind forward on the eternal path and remove obstacles from the way. The noose in Ganesha’s left hand is a gentle implement to capture all difficulties.

The broken tusk that Ganesha holds like a pen in his lower right hand is a symbol of sacrifice, which he broke for writing the Mahabharata. The rosary in his other hand suggests that the pursuit of knowledge should be continuous. The laddoo (sweet) he holds in his trunk indicates that one must discover the sweetness of the Atman. His fan-like ears convey that he is all ears to our petition. The snake that runs round his waist represents energy in all forms. And he is humble enough to ride the lowest of creatures, a mouse.”

I was raised a Catholic, but I deem myself spiritual, and I am my own God. That saying of “God resides in you, as you” by Eckhart Tolle is what I believe. I am the master (or mistress – although I prefer master seeing as though I have assumed the role of a male lately) of my domain.

Back to Ganesh on the desk (don’t you hate these tangents that I go off on? I exhaust myself…) – Ganesh’s arm has fallen off. I don’t know why or how this has happened but it has. He looks so pathetic sitting there with his missing limb, laying sadly next to him on the desk. It fell off weeks ago, and I’ve been meaning to glue it back on for him, but I just haven’t had the chance.

Ganesh

The point of this story? There is no point. Well the point is that at times, I often speak for the sake of speaking. I love to talk. Love it. And perhaps that’s why I enjoy writing so much too. Because I can speak freely, uninterrupted and entertain people at the same time. Which I am very pleased by.

I know my friend Venessa says that I’m her “new Carrie Bradshaw”, because I often ask myself questions throughout my articles. Unanswerable questions of course, but questions all the same. My friend Amanda says it makes her 15 minute bus trip more enjoyable and go quicker. My sister in law Joelle often texts me to say that my articles have had her in stitches. My friend Hope says that she gets so excited when she sees my “BLOGGED” posts pop up on facebook as she can’t afford to buy magazines and she loves to read the nonsense I carry on with. I have even had an email from a reader telling me my writing is “brilliant & brave”. That’s probably the most flattering compliment of all.

My life is exceptionally uninteresting to me at times, probably because I’m living it, and hey, isn’t the grass always greener?

So this post is dedicated to all of my readers out there in cyberspace whoever you are. I appreciate the feedback and encouragement and I hope I can make someone’s day a little more interesting than mine. And I hope my stories encourage you to be more authentic and not give a shit about what anyone thinks of you.

Love, Amy xxx

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