I have opted out of Facebook for the last week on a self imposed hiatus.
I have the shits. And I thought that everyone can go fuck themselves and be deprived of my pearls of wisdom.
Not that that’s the real story. And I’m joking about my pearls of wisdom.
I do really have the shits though. I would love to be able to blurt out the reasons why, because some of my best writing comes from a place of pain, but for at least the time being, my lips are sealed.
So. I deleted my Facebook. I was furious. I wanted to go off the radar. For several reasons which I will not go into. And I decided I was never going to blog again. “What for?” I asked myself. Again for reasons I will not go into.
And then a girlfriend phoned me yesterday.
“Where have you been? Why haven’t you been writing?” She asked me.
I do this sometimes.
They say creative people are highly sensitive. And I am no exception. Sometimes it’s just easier to retreat and go into my cave. Isolate myself from the world.
So we met up for a coffee, this friend and I.
We spoke about a bunch of things.
Women do this. We need to vent. Not necessarily to find solutions, just to get things off our chests.
My friend lost her father 4 weeks ago after a long battle with his inner demons. She is going through the terrible stages of grief that come with this sad and untimely loss.
She begun to tell me about the fact that she was craving that male energy.
Because I’m very much a believer in polarities, I think this is the natural thing to do. To seek out that of which is missing within. The missing link which makes us feel whole. To provide us with that elusive balance.
She told me about this particular guy quite a few months ago that she just can’t get out of her mind. You are all well aware of the fact that I deeply admire the author Paulo Coelho and his teachings.
“If it’s still in your mind, it’s still in your heart.” I quoted him.
“Oh my God I love that!” She cried.
So the story goes like this.
Let’s give my friend and this guy some fictional names.
Because I’ve never had any children and have never had the opportunity to name anything other than a pet, I’ll choose some names for them. Let’s call them Grace (after my Grandmother), and Kingsley (I had one of my contractors with this name and I’ve always liked it).
So Grace had a relationship a year ago with Kingsley. At the time she was fresh out of a failed marriage, and she wasn’t ready to settle down with anyone. Yet, he was everything she wanted in a man. Attentive, warm, caring, and a freak in the bed.
He had a tattoo on the inside of his bicep. “Trust” it read. One night after being intimate together, she kissed this tattoo on his arm.
“Why did you do that?” Kingsley asked her, a little bit taken aback.
“What do you mean?” Grace replied, perplexed.
“Have I told you about that tattoo before?” He probed her.
“What are you talking about?” Grace responded.
“I always said whichever girl kisses that tattoo, is my soulmate”
Tears welled up in my eyes, all of my hairs stood on end, and a warm fuzzy feeling came over me. I simply had to write about it.
So back to the story.
After some time, they went their separate ways. She continued dating other men, and he went on to become engaged.
She thought about him often, and always wondered what might have been.
The week that her father took a turn for the worst, she was very sad, and was reaching out for support from her friends.
And then she got a text from Kingsley saying that he had a feeling that she was struggling with something.
She hadn’t heard from him in months. This is called synchronicity. A fated experience, or a meaningful coincidence. Their souls are intrinsically connected.
I implored her to reach out to him. The one lesson that I have learnt is to draw on whatever resources you have. Whatever gets you to where you need to go.
So she did. And a funny thing happened.
He opened her heart to her, admitting that like her, he has never stopped being able to think about her.
She was floored.
He was engaged to another woman. What does all of this mean?
She dug deep within her soul, and realised that whilst he has her heart, it was simply an impossible situation. So she decided to let it go for now.
But that is not the end of this seemingly tragic love story.
True love will find a way no matter what, and whatever is meant to be will be. I believe in my own heart that they are destined to be together, and the universe always sends you the exact experience you are having right now to enable you to gravitate towards the person who has your heart. No matter what obstacles need to be overcome.
So Grace, thank you for sharing your personal story with me, and opening my heart which the door of stubbornness and fury had slammed shut for the past week.
You have managed to drag me back to my passion, which is of course my love affair with writing, and not censoring myself (well there are certain things that I censor out of dignity), even though laying your cards on the table is rarely without risk and ridicule. We must do what is right for ourselves.
My wish for you is that I can return the favour. And open your heart to the passion and fate that is before you. No matter what the risk. Above all, like I wish for all of us, I really want you to have your “happily ever after”.