People do this all the time. All the time.
We become so enamoured with someone that we pop them up on a pedestal.
But what effect does that then have?
Look at the classic example of that of a celebrity. You always read about their ridiculous demands. They only want brown M&M’s. They want their hotel room filled with white orchards imported from somewhere or other. They want 16 cases of Fiji water…you get the drift.
When you do place someone high upon a pedestal, what do you think is going to happen?
They look down on you of course.
Their perception becomes skewed. And most importantly – YOU are beneath them.
Now, this is of course something that is often done in romantic relationships.
It can be done in friendships.
But it can also be done when people have children too.
Now people might probably say I’m speaking out of school, as I haven’t earned the right to have such a controversial opinion on people putting their children on pedestals. I am merely an observer.
Yet, this is how observations are made.
You hear parents comment about their children all the time.
“They are my world”
I totally get that. I adore my friends 6 year old. I would do anything for him. And I didn’t even give birth to him. So I would imagine the ties would be that much stronger if he was biologically mine. In fact, I’ve been invited along to my little buddy’s Christmas concert at his school this evening, and I couldn’t be more proud. I’m also really happy that my friend sees me as someone important in her child’s life and has included me as part of her extended family. It’s a kindness unparalleled.
Some parents put their child on a pedestal. In fact, some mothers place their sons upon a pedestal. They glorify them, wait on them, pander to their every need. In their eyes, they can “do no wrong”.
The risk with this type of behaviour is that these men will often enter into relationships assuming the world revolves around him, and that his partner should wait on him hand and foot, which is not a good recipe for a mutual relationship. In fact, it can be disastrous.
If you do end up glorifying your prodigy, and making them exclusively your “world”, where does that leave them at the end? Are you making a rod for your own back? Or for their future partners back?
You will undoubtedly create a little demi-god. A little person without limits or boundaries. A sense of entitlement within that child who has been praised and adored and placed on this pedestal.
They will see the world with a different set of eyes. They will look down upon others. It’s the potential making of a narcissist.
I use the example of a parent doing this, however as I stated in the beginning of my piece, it can also be done in a romantic union, or a friendship.
Now I am not one to give parenting advice. Not in any sense of the word. In fact, I would probably make a terrible parent.
However, I have seen enough to form the opinion, that it’s important to treat people as equals. Not as your superior.
To not treat this other person, be it your child, your lover, or your friend as if they are the reason for your existence.
It has far reaching, detrimental effects. The celebrated one having that sense of being blameless. Allowing the pedestal dweller to behave in whichever manner they please.
A terrible combination for all involved.
So I guess what I’m trying to say, is value everyone equally. No one is better, or worse than you. Don’t place someone up on a pedestal.
You’re not doing anyone any favours.
Set boundaries, and limits, and don’t allow anyone to walk all over you. Remember, people will always get away with whatever you allow them to.