Shit to Keep in Your Handbag

My friend retrieved my handbag from the front seat of my car the other day.

“What do you have in here?” She asked me, as she struggled to lift it.

I always have carried a large handbag. Which is quite comical as I’m teeny tiny, so it almost looks as if I’m carting around a piece of luggage.

However I like to carry essentials with me. And I don’t mean any old essentials like lip gloss or car keys etc. Stuff you actually need.

My friend was humbled the other night as we sat eating dinner in a restaurant when she realised she had lost the back of her earring.

“I might have one” I told her.

“No…” She replied in disbelief.

After rummaging through my purse, sure enough, I found an earring back for her. I have all sorts of stuff in my handbag. It may be because I’m old, and I know what to expect, however here is a list of the shit any woman should carry in her bag:

1. Tampons – do you know how many times I’ve been asked for a tampon? Unless you’re menopausal, you’re gonna need these every month…
2. Lip gloss
3. Tissues – good for blotting excess oil from your face; in case you cry; in case you get a runny nose, or worse still, a nose bleed. Oh, and in case you go to a public restroom and there’s no toilet paper
4. Band aids – hello? Blisters?
5. Phone charger – you never know when you’ll need it
6. Needle and thread – clothes tear all the time. And buttons fall off too
7. Earring backs – you just never know when these will come in handy
8. Umbrella (there are small ones you can buy)
9. Bobby pins and hair elastics – again, I’ve been asked for these on numerous occasions
10. Perfume
11. Rescue Remedy – for anxiety. We all get nervous you know. Just remember to spray it UNDER your tongue
12. Snacks – ok, this isn’t mandatory, however if you read my “top ten fears” article, you will know I have an irrational fear of starving to death
13. Bottled water – just in case
14. Hand sanitizer – you never know when there will be nowhere to wash your hands

So do yourself a favour and buy a bigger handbag to cart all of these things around.

You’ll thank me later.

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